I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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