Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
