I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
