that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
