I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
