I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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