im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
