is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
