so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
