I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
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I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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