All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
