Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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