Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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