I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's blow job season.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
God, I missed his penis.
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