she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
