it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize