I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
