Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
