Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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