I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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