If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
