My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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