I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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