Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
