I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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