By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
