Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
