Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
