my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
