wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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