I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.