12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
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the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
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This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.