What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.