I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
