the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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