I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
