I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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