i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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