i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
