is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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