he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
