Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
