Me too!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
