please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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