those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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