Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
