i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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