when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize