She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm too high and old for this...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
