Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think i have herpe
just one?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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