You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
