An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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