I'm going to jail i love you
Buhtt sex?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
