I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
