..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
