whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
